Tuesday, September 29, 2009

Dark Side Of "Getting Too Good"

I'm only half-assed in the game. I know of people who go out 3 times a week, and they are much better than I am. I don't know how they feel about game, but I'm already starting to feel myself getting a bit too "methodical" when it comes to the first date. I know what to do when I get a number, what to say the first time I get her on the phone, where to suggest meeting for the first time, subjects to talk about, how to bounce them to the next area, where the next area is to "take a walk", when to make my first "physical" move, and how to try to get them to my place from that area. I'm still excited on each date, doing the best I can to follow the pattern that works best for me, but what happens if it works too well? What happens if it becomes too easy and I no long get excited about it?

Below is a letter I've read in Virgil Kent's blog, talking about the exact same thing.

Back in those days I remember how excited I was just to get a phone number in a weekend (and that"s counting Thursday). If I told you my strike out percentage you"d probably stop reading right now. But back then there was a rush about it, a newness, it felt so good when somehow I was saying the right things and then somehow or another a girl went back to my place on rare occasion. But things can change.

The thing is that you stay in this game long enough and one of the first things to go is excitement. A man can become so methodical, X"s and O"s. I went out one night this weekend on Saturday and got four numbers. Witness say I was on fire that night. Three or four years ago I"d be on cloud nine at this point. But as soon as I woke up Sunday morning disillusionment set in. Even if I did have time (and I don"t) in a perfect world how the hell could I see four girls in one week (there"s a way). But that"s just more work for me. The reality is that for a guy to increase his chance of getting one date in this city he has to pull three to five numbers in a weekend. If you pull five, two will not pick up, call back or text back. One will be flaky and play text games, one will maybe meet you out here and there and finally the last will actually show up to the date.

For me 90% of success on the first date is simply getting the girl to materialize at the location, it"s like herding fucking cats. Speaking of dates, I don"t get excited as much as I used to about them anymore. They"ve somehow become this false routine that I"ve memorized. I already know what I"m going to wear, I already know the topics of conversation I"ll speak on, I already know how I"m going to try to get back to her place. I"m pretty sure that women at my age already know the same things only in the end they already know the excuses why I can"t come back.

The second thing to go is the sex or the joy from it. The more sex you have the more you realize how bad most girls are at it. Honest to blog I"ve been banging a girl and thinking about going home to masturbate (there is something very sad and disturbing about that last statement, not to self make appointment to see therapist).

The last thing that goes is the beauty of women. This might prove how green I was but I used to walk around and see so many "beautiful" women in DC. When I described them I"d use that term "beautiful", like some kid who just saw his first sunrise or snowfall ever. I rarely use that term anymore, I don"t allow those words to leave my lips. It gets worse than not seeing though. My boys, the guys that have really been in the game for more than a decade, it"s like they can"t see past the flaws. It got so bad with this one guy I"d think that the girl was a perfect ten and I swear he"d complain about "the start of future crows feet" ... WTF?!? WTF does crows feet have to do with anything! Can you fuck crows feet, I"m saying? Point being he"d find any flaw in any woman and every woman he was with…. even if he had to make it up. We become sharks, keep moving.

On this blog and others like it, I know at times it sounds so glamours. The women, the late nights, the adventures, swinger parties. But all you get to hear about is the victories and how it is when things go the right way. Nobody blogs about the strikeouts, insane bar tabs and trips to the free clinic. Nobody writes about cold leads, the lonely cab rides home, angry boyfriends/ husbands calling your phone one minute threatening to kill you the next minute crying and wanting to know what really happened, the truth. There is disappointment in a vagina and that"s all the truth you need to know about women. Please believe me there is a price you pay for this, it"s not free, and often it"s your humanity.

Now ask yourself, do you really want it, this and everything that comes with it? I can show you the way through the door, but ask The Rookie, the game is cold son, ice cold on the other side.

Sunday, September 20, 2009

Ultimate Guide To Breakups - Best Of Craigslist

I was just browsing Best Of Craigslist one day, and here's a post called "ultimate guide to breakups". It doesn't seem like it's written by someone in the "seduction community", but it's full of techniques that correspond with the seduction community ideas. The two biggest values all those techniques conveyed were frame control (pulling her into your world instead of vice-versa) and non-supplication (non-neediness)

You can smell it coming. Your paramour has left an ominous message on your voicemail. S/he wants to talk. Perhaps you have been invited to meet him somewhere public. Maybe she's cancelled a date, and is meeting you at your place instead. But you're not an idiot and you can anticipate what's next: your ass is about to get dumped. C'est la vie.

Here is your foolproof guide to navigating your breakup. Follow these simple directions and I can guarantee a minimum of stress and heartbreak. If you desire, this technique will ensure your probability of reconciliation is maximized. Want her back? Listen well:

1. On the day you get the news, listen very calmly. Say as little as possible. You will probably hear some BS like, "It's not you - it's me" or "I just need some space for a while" or "let's still be friends"... blah blah blah. Do not argue. Accept everything s/he says. S/he may become emotional. Make no move to comfort him or her. When s/he has finished, do not linger. Say goodbye and leave. If you are in your own home, show him or her the door. A chaste hug is OK, but under NO circumstances should you offer or accept a goodbye kiss, a final quickie, or any of that shit. If you're at a restaurant, do not hang around to split the tab: guys - pay the bill and leave. Ladies - just bail. There is no need to be sterile or brusque, by all means be courteous and kind. Understanding even. But wait until your (now) ex is out of earshot to cry like a bitch.

If you get the news over the phone (ouch), the same rules apply. Just hang up.

If you get a voice/email message, DO NOT respond. Chances are a relationship that ends electronically can't be salvaged, but don't make things worse by taking the bait.

2. The bad news is, this is the hard part. The good news is, this is the part of the Ultimate Guide to Breakups over which you have the most control. It is the centerpiece of the method, and your stamina during this phase will determine your success later on. Want the secret? Here is is:

DO NOTHING.

At first you will be sad. Possibly very sad. Get out of the house. Distract yourself. Hang out with your friends - preferably the ones your ex doesn't know too well, because s/he will be checking up on you. Under NO CIRCUMSTANCES should you contact your ex. For anything.

Chances are after a few days s/he will contact you, "just to see how you're doing." Do not respond. Let it go to voicemail. Don't call back. Delete the email. It's that simple. It'll be hard, but hang in there. Don't let your curiosity get the best of you. You are under no obligation to respond to someone who has kicked you to the curb.

Maybe you've been together for a while and s/he has left personal items in your home. This is the only circumstance under which it's ok to respond. Wait at least 24 hours before you reply. Tell your ex that you will FedEx his/her stuff. Pay for the fastest method you can afford. If s/he insists upon picking it up, leave it someplace safe and make sure you're NOT there when s/he arrives. Make your interaction courteous and brief. Get off the phone as quickly as possible.

If you do not receive a call within a month, you probably won't get a call until s/he drunk dials you many years from now. Move on.

The sooner s/he calls you after dumping you, however, the better your chances are for reconciliation. Again, do not call back. Stay tough. You are now in control of the situation.

3. The sooner the first post-breakup call comes, the more calls/texts/emails you will likely receive. DO NOT RESPOND to any of them... yet. In these modern times you may also be privy to his/her evocative facebook updates, blog posts, reality TV show episodes, whathaveyou. Make no contact. If you absolutely must be in the same place at the same time, try to look fit and happy and surrounded yourself with people s/he doesn't know.

Right around this time (unless you were dumped for someone else) your ex is beginning to experience the downside of singleness. S/he may be feeling lonely and horny, and start wondering if s/he made the right choice. That is exactly what you want. Let him/her fucking stew in it. Your patience will be rewarded.

4. By now, your ex is curious about you. Maybe s/he's even been seeing some new people. But the fact that you have made a clean break with such poise will be a blow to the ego. Remember, the opposite of love is not hate. The opposite of love is indifference. S/he will be thinking, "Was I really so easy to get over?" and "Gee - maybe it really WAS me." If you've done this right, you will receive a call (or email) inviting you to "hang out." Perhaps the tone will be casual, perhaps it will be desperate. Either way, congratulations for getting this far. The ball is now in your court.

5. Proceed carefully from here. Eagerness could lead to a booty call, but little more. Ask yourself: what do I want? If you want to resume a relationship, wait 48-72 hours before responding. Say you're unavailable at the time your ex suggests, but recommend another meeting time at least a week in the future. You name the place. From here on out, everything is on your terms.

6. Let nature take its course. If your ex is ready to give it another shot, s/he will be dressed like it's a first date. If the sexual tension is palpable, you may choose to knock boots and sort out the details in the sticky afterglow. If you can contain yourself, feign trepidation and ask him/her to meet you again - also in a place you select. Build anticipation. Make him/her work for it. If executed correctly, your ex will be so grateful to have you back s/he will be on his/her very best behavior, possibly for years to come.

7. Repeat as necessary.