Friday, October 24, 2008

Misunderstandings And Hastiness

I was at a bar with Radium as night. I went to the bar to get a drink for myself and Radium, and opened a 2-set sitting on my left. I started a 2-3 sentence chat with the girl sitting closest to me, while Radium started talking with the other one. There was a slight misunderstanding on the drinks ordered with the bartender due to the loudness of the bar.

The girl closest to me playfully said "damn Asians" (I happen to be Asian). I ignored it and took slight offense. After getting my drink, I looked at Radium, he has his set engaged. I wanted to eject the set because of the Asian remark the girl I was talking to made, but I didn't want to drag Radium out of the set because he was doing well. I told him "I'm going to go play some pool, I'll be right back". I left, the pool table was being used, so I went sitting at a different bar inside the building, and started chatting with the bartender. My drink was finished, so I thought I'd come up and check on Radium, he still had his target engaged, was telling DHV stories and the whole deal, so I ordered another drink at the bar they were sitting at. I faced straight at the bar the whole time, a smile on my face because I felt like it was necessary in order to not blow Radium out of his set. The bartender took a while to get my change back, and the whole time I showed the whole set IOD's. My original targeted tried to start chatting with me, but I politely smiled and answered her questions as I was waiting on my change, almost like a male version of the "bitch shield". I waited on my change, tipped the bartender, and politely walked away again.

Later on, Radium joined me in the other bar after he number closed his target. As we were leaving the place hitting up the next bar, he asked me what happened. I told him about why I ejected, and Radium told me "Dude, she's Asian herself". Wow, it seems like me being unaware of random stuff has really bit me in the ass this time, she was simply trying to build rapport with the "Damn Asians" comment. Radium then told me she was married anyway.

Lingering thought: Did my target show interest in me because I showed her absolutely no interest at all, and this is one of those "wanting what they can't have" things? Or did she show me fake interest so I wouldn't drag Radium away from his target? Almost like a female version of a "wingman"?

Thursday, October 16, 2008

Direct vs Indirect Game

I have this conversation with Radium a lot, the thoughts of direct vs indirect game. I'm more of a believer in indirect game due to my own personality, and Radium does direct game more because it's worked well for him in the past.

Example of Radium's direct game:
  • [Directly look at the girls, speaking in a smooth, interested voice]
  • Hey girls, what's going on. So what're your names? [wait on answer]
  • Awesome, I'm [insert name].
  • So where're you girls from? [wait on answer]
  • That's awesome, I'm from [insert location].
  • So are you going to college there? [wait on answer]
  • Cool, what's your major? [wait on answer]
  • [insert a 15 second comment about when he was in college].
  • [ask next comfort building question]

Example of my indirect game:
  • [Walking by a couple of girls, quick stop looking over the side of the shoulder, body language being a an angle, speaking in an extremely casual voice]
  • Quick question, my friend and I made a bet. I lost and have to dye my hair. Is it acceptable for me to dye my hair black (I have natually black hair)?
  • Awesome, I knew you girls would agree with me, thanks (or "Oh? Why not? I AM gonna dye my hair, he just didn't specify the color).
  • [Interrupting whatever the girl's going to say next] Your nose wiggles when you talk, did you know that? Go ahead, what were you saying?
  • [transitioin into DHV story]

Our philosophies on direct game:
Me: Going after them directly and showing too much interest in the girls(before they're interested in me) lowers my value. "I" approached "them", I'm more interested in them than they are interested in me. I'm after them, they know it, therefore I'm starting off with a handicap of the perceived (maybe subconscious) thought of "they're better than me", and "they have higher social value than I do".

Radium: I am great at building rapport, and they love talking about their favorite subjects - themselves. Women always tell me I'm a great listener because I let them yap on about themselves.

Personally, I think if done correctly, both work, and both work well. The main difference is the opener. At a certain point in pick-up, you're supposed to show interest, no matter what type of game you run. Here are some techniques to pull both off during the beginning phases of each game type:

To build attraction via direct game:
  • Sub-communicating sincerity
  • Strong intent
  • Body language and directness showing high value

To build attraction via indirect game:
  • Sub-communicating playfulness
  • False Disqualification (through words or body language)
  • Neg
  • DHV stories