I called her the next Tuesday and set up a Wed night dinner date. I wanted to build some more comfort, showing her that it isn't just about the physical thing, I'm still willing to stick around afterwards, we still can get together and hang out, etc. She called on Wed afternoon and flaked out on me. Her excuse was "I'm sorry, but I'm not feeling well, I've got migraines". I said "cool, we'll reschedule" and ended the conversation.
The next night, I was out sarging with Radium and saw her coming out of a bar as I walked in. She was with a mixed group of guys and girls, I greeted her, really up beat, great smiling friendly vibe, hinted to Radium that she's the one that flaked out on me by saying "This is Kim, I was gonna have dinner with her yesterday, but she wasn't feeling well".
Kim: I really wasn't
Me: I'm glad you're feeling better, have a good night.
We went into the bar as she and her group walked out of it. I was really annoyed at the time, and I decided to delete her number off my phone. About a week and a half later on a Monday night, I received a call from her. I didn't pick up because I was hanging with Graves at the time. I also didn't really know who it was because I deleted her number off my phone, and she didn't leave a message. I called back about 45 minutes later, and realized it was her.
Me: Missed a call from you?
Kim: Hey, was just wondering if you were at your apartment, I was downtown with a friend. But we're not any more
(My apartment is within walking distance of downtown)
Me: Sorry, was hanging out with a friend, we're actually hitting up downtown right now.
Me: Hey, there's this Thai restaurant I'm thinking about checking out on Wednesday, you should join me
Kim: I'm not sure, can I get back to you tomorrow about this?
Me: Sure, just get back to me by tomorrow, have a good night.
I got off the phone, she called back the next day and gave some really weird excuse that she can't do dinner on Wednesday. Something like "I was at my parents' today, we picked vegetables and we're going to can them tomorrow". I basically said "That's cool, give me a call if you want to get together", and got off the phone with her again. Again, I "left the ball in her court", conveying the attitude of "I made my effort, now if you want to get together, you'd have to put some effort in".
The following Sunday, she called me and left me a message while I was going out day-game sarging with Graves. Her message was something casual, like "Hey, it's Kim, sorry about canceling the last two times, call me back".
I called her back the next day (Monday night).
Me: Hey, it's Paul
Kim: What's up
Me: Nothing really, was thinking of going go-karting tomorrow night, you should join me
Kim: Go karting?
Me: Yeah, it'll be fun
Kim: How much does it cost? I don't really have much money
Me: Don't worry about it, it's just a couple of bucks
Kim: You sure?
Me: Yeah, just a few dollars, no big deal. Do you know where ____ is?
Kim: Yeah, I do
Me: Cool, meet you there at 7:30?
Kim: Sure, sounds good.
Me: Awesome, have a good night.
We got off the phone, the date was set for the next night, which she didn't flake.
Things I did well:
- Non-neediness, decided to not call her until she calls me due to her being inconsiderate
- Being a man, not "asking her out", or "consulting on where we'll go", but telling her "this is where I'm thinking of going, you should join me"
Things I need to figure out:
- Does she not want to go out with me much? If she does, I'm sure she can find a few bucks to go go-karting with me, instead of hesitating due to money
- Does she not want to get romantic with me? She said she didn't have money, if she wanted to get romantic, she shouldn't have hesitated at all to let me pay, because that's what "romantic couples" do.