Friday, August 15, 2008

Date 4 With Kim, Becoming AFC, Time Bridge

So I took Kim out for Pho (Vietnamese noodle soup) Wed night. We met up at my place because she didn't know where it was. Kim's never had Pho before, so she asked me what I was having, and I said "Either the #32 or #33, those two look most American". She ordered the 32 and I had 33. We kept things pretty light, joking around, talking about random stuff. Before the soup arrived, they brought condiments on a plate - bean sprouts and basil leaves. I handed it to her:
Me: That's your #32
Kim really believed me and was starting to eat it
Me, stopping her: Wow, I was just kidding, it's condiments.
Kim: Hey, if you say that was the #32, I was gonna believe you
Me Joking: Yeah, that would've been funny, but the reason I wouldn't let you do that wasn't for you, I just didn't want to be out of condiments when my food arrives.
Kim Joking: So you saved me from eating those not because you're a nice guy, but your own selfish reasons.
Me Joking: Yeah, totally.

We kept on just talking and joking and having fun with things. After dinner, I drove us both back to my place, and said "come on up with me". She said "Okay, only for a little while because I have to get up early tomorrow". I said "Yeah, I know, I have to get up early too because [inserted random lame excuse for having to get up early]". We kissed on the couch a little, she still did the quick kiss and lean away thing, but I held her head confidently, "here, this is how you should kiss". I made sure she couldn't lean away, she seemed to be okay with it.

I transitioned her into the bedroom, and took off her bra and shirt. I wasn't in a hurry, she put up some early resistance and covered her bra manually to her chest, but I respected it, but eventually she pulled her arms away from her body and I told her that her body's beautiful. She seemed really ticklish, probably from being somewhat new and nervous to my touch. I tested a few spots and realized she really was ticklish. She was okay with my hand resting still on her breast, but when I caressed her body, such as her stomach, it made her giggly. I pull off her jeans, but she held onto her underwear when I pulled it off, and I respected that too. She seemed giggly when I tried to rub between her legs through her underwear as well, so I didn't push it much.

I had some kind of an AFC talk with her, which I got "real".
Me: What do you want?
Kim: What do you mean, what do I want right now? What do I want in life? What do you mean?
Me: I meant with us. Are you looking to get married with kids? Looking for a serious relationship? Multiple longterm relationship? Dating around? Fuck buddy? What do you want?
Kim: I don't know, what do you want?
Me: Well, I'm not looking for anything exclusive right now, but I don't wanna be your fuck-buddy cuz I DO enjoy spending time with you outside the bedroom. What about you? What do you want?
Kim: I don't know, I wouldn't mind being married, I wouldn't mind having a boyfriend, I wouldn't mind anything, I really don't know.
Me: I understand, we don't have to decide on anything now.

We kept on chatting, talking about random stuff while I had her in my arms. I also remember chatting about this thread:
Me: Are you comfortable?
Kim: Yeah.
Me: You sure? Cuz the last time we did this, I felt like I made you feel uncomfortable, that's why you flaked out on me the next time
Kim: I really wasn't feeling well
Me: Oh? I saw you in a bar the next day
Kim: That was the next day. I don't flake out.
Me: I understand, I just assumed it was a random flake-out, if I knew you really weren't feeling well, I'd drop by and bring you some soup or something.

I also remember acting somewhat "needy", I remember holding her on my bed and she said she needed to use the bathroom
Me: Nope, you don't get to go, I like holding you.
Kim: I AM coming back
Me: I know, but still, I like holding you right now, so you don't get to go.

Obviously, I let her go to the bathroom, but I might've seemed somewhat needy. The date ended well, and at the end of the date I tried to timebridge it into a Friday night date.
Me: Got plans Friday night?
Kim: My cousin's coming over with her kids and using our apartment pool, I really don't know when it'll end
Me: I'm going to [bigger city I spend a lot of weekends in] over the weekend, was thinking about Friday night, but I can go on Saturday if you think it'll end around 8-9ish and would like to get together Friday night.
Kim: Yeah, I really don't know, my cousin's the type of person that'll come by just to say hi and stay for 4 hours, so I really don't know.
Me: That's cool, if you think it'll end early, get back to me by Friday at noon, if not, I'll be making plans in [bigger city] for Friday night. If not, let's do dinner Tuesday night if you're available
Kim: Yeah, but I can't stay out late, gotta get up early on Wed
Me: Yeah, I'm thinking of 7ish, I got plans to go out drinking with some friends around 9-9:30ish, so I it wouldn't be too late.
Kim: That sounds good

She called me Friday night at 6PM.
Me: What's going on
Kim: Was I supposed to call you today at 12?
Me: Only if you think your cousin was leaving early, but I've already made some plans in [bigger city] for tonight, sorry. We're still on for dinner on Tuesday, right?
Kim: Uh......yeah.
Me: Cool, look forward seeing you Tuesday, I'll give you a call around 6ish. Have a good day.

Things I did well:
  • Built more comfort on the date
  • Time-bridged into next date
  • Stuck to my own rules about her calling me by 12, if not, I can't get together.

Things I wondered about:
  • Did I seem too AFCish and too needy during the date?
  • Should I have not brought up "real issues" and kept it fun and adventurous the whole night?
  • Her calling me at 6PM when I told her "call me by noon if you think you can get together Friday night", was that a random shit-test?

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