This is a blog about the transformation from an average guy (AFC) to a pick up artist (PUA). The setting is a small town, about the size of Milwaukee but half the population. I just moved from a major city about a few months ago, and am noticing a few differences.
The road will be long and the stories will be many. I'm guessing it'll be filled with failures for the first few months, and then more "random" success will occur. I'm hoping after a year or so, successes will be more frequent than failures, and then success will be consistent and expected afterwards. But I'm also guessing as I get better, definitions of "success" will change as well. As of right now, a "solid" number close at the end of a night of going out for pickups (sarging) would be considered my "success". A "solid" number close is engaging the girl enough to spark her interest before (or after) getting her number, that she'll be excited to hear from you again. I currently use the "5 minute number technique" a lot, where I act like I have (more fun and important) places to be and things to do, but I'd like to get her number because she's cute and we can get together later. In the past when I sarged in the big city, if I can start chatting with the girl, I get a number about 80% of the time, but less than 50% of the numbers convert to dates. Here in this small town, girls want "affection" and the attitude that "I'm important" doesn't build much attraction, they want to know that I think "they're important" to me. Needless to say, that technique yields lesser results. As a "numbers game", the conversion percentage is pretty low.
Several people asked me why I want to do it, and my answers so far, to them as well as myself, is "to possess the skills to be able to pick up almost any single woman I want". As of right now, the skill is more important to me than the result. It's a lot more important for me to master the process from the approach all the way to the sex, and maybe what I should do afterwards (such as keeping them around as a multiple longterm relationship vs keeping them around just for sex vs not contacting them again). I'm planning on staying single for the next few years, but when I do get into a committed relationship in my early to mid 30's, I'd like my relationship to be healthy. I'd be operating from love, and not fear. I want to be around that one great woman and treat her well because I'd love her even though I could get with many other women, and I would not be operating out of fear of losing her.
Looking back, my first relationship in high school was not that great because the girl insisted on random drama that I didn't want. I operated out of the fear of losing her so I tolerated it, and I never want that to happen again. My second relationship also didn't end well for other reasons and I had a huge sense of "1itis" afterwards, the thought that she's the only woman for me and I was somewhat desperate to get her back, which I failed miserably. I've been on many dates since then (some were a lot more "successful" than others, but it seemed random), but I always have labeled myself as "not the relationship type" due to my past failures and I have been staying single since. I'd like to be in a relationship someday, but I have a lot to accomplish before that, such as figuring out where I'd be living permanently, and get much better at dealing with women. Wish me luck.
I got into the art of pickup by first stumbling upon David DeAngelo's "Advanced Series" on a 6 hour drive. I was browsing around the web and thought I'd want something lengthy to listen to, I had no idea what it was gonna be. This program Wow'ed me. I'm not extremely perceptive, and this program talked about things I've never even thought of before, erasing my mind of "ideals" and false beliefs and filling my mind with realistic subjects such as "sexual economy" and "attraction isn't a choice". David D mostly talks about being the man that naturally attract women, and some great basics (or maybe they're something not basic, something too advanced for me to understand at the time), but he didn't talk too much on specific techniques. He talked about "Act like this and women will naturally come to you", I did, and still no women swarming towards me. It made me do more research, learning techniques on approach, comfort building, from works of Mystery and Style to random Keyboard Jockeys (KJ's, defined in next post) in forums. I got into the community, and as of now, I'm willing to dedicate about 2-3 nights a week getting better at the art of pickup.
I've decided that my pickup name is now "Ambiance". My game as of now is composed of tricks, gimmicks, routines, and techniques - easily learned and produce a temporary illusion of emotions women enjoy. Fake smokes and cheap mirrors, I am now Ambiance. I've found a couple of other guys who're better than me at pickups, and I'm going to learn the first stage of pick-up from them - to be better at conversation, have a better "vibe" that'll naturally be attractive to women after the approach. After I get comfortable and better doing that, I can learn more advanced tactics such as moving and merging sets (groups of women), etc.
I'm inviting all my pickup partners to be authors of this blog - it would be interesting to see "field reports" of the same story, but from different perspectives. This is the beginning of my new hobby, let the ride begin.
- ► 2009 (16)