Friday, June 27, 2008

First Number Close In Weeks

MM and I went out sarging on Wed night. I made sure I had some good sleep before hand, took a hour and a half nap and we went out around 10PM.

We first hit a local neighborhood bar with karaoke. I sat around for one drink while watching others sing. There was a perfect 2-set - both cute, sitting alone, and glancing our direction once in a while. MM didn't want to approach at the time and I hit some serious approach anxiety, so we skipped the set and started walking down street for the next bar. While walking down the street, we both were talking about how we should've approached the set, and didn't.

We then saw two really hot girls just chilling outside on the sidewalk. Both around 20 yrs old, HB8.5's - tall, skinny, sexy. We approached with the "I'm new here and where're the best places to hang out" routine, asking where the best bars and clubs were, etc. The conversation went on for 2-3 minutes but never left the "what're the best bars and clubs" subject. I negged them a little saying "You know what, you two are really tall for girls". Didn't get much of a reaction, but at least I tried. A cop rolled by on his bicycle and wanted to smell one of the girl's OJ bottle (which still has juice in it). He busted her for having alcohol in public, and was starting to ask something like "Hmmm.....smells like peach schnapps". I looked at MM and say "Wanna hit up the bar they suggested?" and walked away. They might've been under 21 and we don't need risking getting random tickets for things we didn't do, such as giving alcohol to the under aged.

We went to a wine bar down the street. It was fairly crowded, but no sets without guys - until we went outside to the patio and saw a group of 5 girls sitting on a table. On the outside patio, most tables were taken and unused chairs were scarce. My friend and I hesitated and drank standing up on the other side of the bar for about 15 minutes, then we decided we shouldn't be waiting any longer. I went in there and I started to lift the only open chair among them pretending I'm about to take the chair away (5 girls, 6 chairs). I asked "Is this seat taken?" They said "No" and I just sat down at their table. They gave a surprised and weird face towards each other, and I followed up with "We think you girls were cute and thought we'd come and hang with you for a while". They gave a comforting smile, no longer shocked, started intros, we opened the set.

By now, I was sitting down at the table with the girls while MM was standing up, but we all were "in" and chatting. At the table, there were 3 girls on one side; 2 girls and myself on the other side. They "qualified us" by giving us a compliment, "yeah, most guys just went around us, we're glad you guys came and sat down". We chatted for about 15 minutes - all of us in the same conversation at the table, we didn't divide the set. After the girls finished their wine, and they decided to leave. They were going to leave around this time anyway, but we didn't really do much to engage them to stay longer than they planned. The said "you should've come talk to us sooner". The 3 girls on the other side were getting up first, and I looked at all 3 of them and said "write down your number and we'll get together some other time". One of them said "I'm sorry, but I have a boyfriend". I busted out the anti-boyfriend-defense line MM told me, "And I have a dog, so what did that have anything to do with you giving me your number?" I stuttered a little saying that, she didn't understand the first time and I had to repeat it, the line lost its "smoothness". The girl sitting next to me said "here's mine" as she was leaving after the 3 girls on the opposite side of the table. This is the first number close I got in a couple of weeks.

In my mind, there were 2 possibilities why she volunteered her number:
1. She didn't want to "leave me dying on stage", gave me an easy out to be nice, which will result in her not picking up when I call.
2. She subconsciously got jealous that her friends were getting more attention, a competitive thing.

I'm hoping it was possibility #2, but I'm guessing neither of them will result in a 2nd meeting, because we weren't there long enough to build "rapport" or "comfort".

After that, we went down to 2 more bars with only one possible set we didn't open - they seemed to be intensely focused on their conversation and had no breaks in between. They then left as soon as they finished. Even though we didn't approach the set at the end of the night, I felt great. I was 4 drinks deep and fully awake; I felt the "vibe" radium was talking about - the super social, will talk to anyone without concentrating on a mission vibe. I'm going to try to get some good rest before every night of sarging from now on.

Things I did well:
  • Opened the 5-set - direct approach after the "chair joke" routine.
  • Number closed aggressively when the 5-set was leaving
  • Finally felt the "vibe" that I haven't felt in months - super sociable, talking to everyone without focusing on the pickup
Things I needed to improve on:
  • Early approach anxiety, passed up a 2-set for no reason
  • Needed to be more confident and enunciate pre-rehearsed lines (such as the anti-boyfriend-defense line) more confidently and clearly without stuttering
  • Be less "considerate" when approaching sets at the end of the night - passed up a 2-set just because they seemed to be chatting with each other without breaking. I ended up leaving without approaching them - yielding the same results as if I was to rudely interrupt and got shut down, but at least I would've known that I tried.

Wednesday, June 25, 2008

Discount Clothing Store

Working my white-collared job, I ran out of pants to wear for work the next day. I knew I was going to get home late and not have time to wait on laundry to dry, so I decided to stop at the first place that sells cloths. I went to a discount clothing store, Ross, which is something like a "Burlington Coat Factory", where they sell $45 brand name shirts such as Tommy Hillfigure or Nautica for $20.

It's somewhat of shopper's impulse for me, by the time I was done, I came out with 2 pairs of slacks and 3 short-sleeve button down shirts. None were expensive, but all were acceptable to wear at work or going out without looking like a bum.

It was about 7PM on a Sunday night, so the store's closing and I'm one of the last people paying. While I was getting rang up, I took a look at the cashier. She looked about in her early 20's, Hispanic, kinda cute, I'm guessing a 6/10. I got plans to go out to a BBQ so I couldn't do anything that night, but I wanted a number close.

HBCashier: How're you doing today?
Me: I'm doing well, and yourself?
HBCashier: Tired, ready to go home
Me: Oh? Any big plans after you get off work?
HBCashier: No, just sleep
Me: Wow, sleeping so early, huh? What you gonna do when you wake up and everyone else is asleep?
HBCashier: I don't know, probably go out to breakfast
Me: Where's a good breakfast place around here?
HBCashier: I usually go to IHop.
Me: Gotta special someone to take you there?
HBCashier: [laugh] No, well, maybe my sister, that's about it.
I see this as an IOI and decided to go for a quick number close.
Me: In that case, I want you to write down your number and I'll take you to breakfast sometime
HBCashier: No.....I don't think I can do that
Me: Oh?
HBCashier: How old are you?
Me: [smirk] Old enough not to answer that question. How old are you?
HBCashier: I'm 19
Me: (jokingly) I almost feel bad now. I'm 28.

At this point, I was hoping she'd say something like "Oh, that's not that old" or something, but she didn't. As she was ringing up my cloths, she asked "So you're doing cloth shopping all by yourself?". I replied "Yup, life of a bachelor". That got a small laugh out of her, we made a little more small talk and politely said "have a good night" to each other after the transaction. I've been fucking up closes after opening sets lately, and I fucked up that number close too.

Things I did well:
  • Confident
  • No hesitation
  • Kept up the attitude of "I'm funny, but slightly better than you"
Things I fucked up on:
  • Stopped being aggressive after the first IOD ("I don't think I can do that")
  • Should've turned her age concern around and falsely disqualify her instead of letting her disqualify me, but couldn't think of that on the spot. Example: "I usually don't date girls that young, but you seem kinda mature and I'll give you a shot.

Tuesday, June 24, 2008

Friday Night Adventures

So last Friday night, I went out to with sarging with 2 guys. GuyExperienced, who's been in "the game" for several years, is fairly proficient at the game, and GuyInexperienced, someone who doesn't really go up to talk to girls. It's in a bigger city about an hour away from where I currently live, the size of Atlanta, but with a more white collared, sophisticated vibe.

We went to this place that's got a lounge, bar, and restaurant in different levels. We mostly hang around different parts of the lounge area. GuyExperienced approached and opened a couple of sets with a"can I get a light" (cigarette) opener, it works well because half the people there were smokers. He didn't stick with any sets because they either turned out to be married or unavailable or something. I didn't really hear how he transitioned from the approach to set opening because he went into it solo.

I saw two black girls sitting around in the outside patio section of the restaurant. They were just having drinks at the time, they were an HB6 and an HB4. I opened the 2-set with a "best friends opener".

Me: Hey, I was wondering if you could settle a debate between me and my friend.
HB6: Yeah?
Me: My friend thinks you two have known each other for only a few months and I think you've known each other for years.
HB4: Your friend's right, we met each other at work a couple of months ago.
Me: Thanks, I'm XXX.

Intros were made, my friends joined me, more intros were made made.

Me: Mind if we sit with you for a bit?

We sat down and started chatting, the two girls are both from NY. HB4 was from Staten Island. I negged her a bit with something like "There's nothing wrong w/ Staten Island, you just gotta get used to the smell of trash". The set somehow transitioned into a split, which I started talking to HB4 while my 2 friends were chatting with HB6. Things went well for a while. They got food, I bummed a couple of fries, built some rapport, etc.

I left to go use the bathroom. Upon return, I saw that my other friend, MM, and his date hanging with my friends and the set. With my seat taken, I asked the girls to move down a bit (bench style seats), and HB4 agreed because she was sitting on the outside. GuyExperienced and GuyInexperienced went to the bar to get a drink while MM and his date are left with myself and the set. Within 5 minutes, they mentioned something about disliking being watched while they eat, so they left the patio to go inside with their food. That was a surprise, the set ditched us. Maybe HB6 was into GuyExperienced or GuyInexperienced, and when they both left, HB4's attraction (or lack of) towards me wasn't strong enough to keep them both around. I lost that set.

At the end of the night, during "last call" times, I started drinking cups of water. By the cash bar outside, there was a girl by herself, and started chatting with me. She wasn't attractive, but wasn't ugly either, I'd say an HB4.5. HB4.5 and I chatted a little and I found out her friends ditched her and stuff. I said something like "Wow, hope they weren't your ride home, cuz that would really suck if they ditched you". They weren't her ride home, so it wasn't an easy SNL by "offering her a ride home". During this time, GuyExperienced approached an Asian chick about 2 feet away, HB8, but couldn't start a conversation, she was giving polite 1-word answers. Turned out that she's a bartender who's off her shift (right after last call). After GuyExperienced gave up and went away, GuyInexperienced started talking to her. (I've been talking to HB4.5 for about 7 minutes) I tried to help GuyInexperienced out by getting into their conversation (2 feet away) and keeping it going a bit. The HB4.5 I was talking to walked away and I couldn't think of a way to stop her at the time without sounding needy. I didn't think she'd walk away for me turning my attention away from her for 20 seconds. I lost HB4.5.

That was the end of the night for me.

Things I did well:
  • Opening up the two set
  • Body language and negging HB4.
Things I screwed up on:
  • Not realizing the two set were leaving, should've number closed before they left
  • Not realizing HB4.5 was going to leave. Should've known HB4.5 didn't have the confidence to compete for my attention against the HB8. Should've focused my attention on her instead of helping my friend (who also didn't get anywhere) with the HB8.

Friday, June 20, 2008

Blown Out By Wing

Tuesday night, a friend and I were out sarging. Instead of the typical small downtown, we decided to go elsewhere. The small town we live in don't have any other areas where different bars can be walked to, but we decided to give it a try. We drove around and decided to pass on 3 different bars before hitting up this bar that offered a $1 beer special. The place was filled with 21-25 yr olds because of the Tuesday night drink special.

The bar had an inside part and an outside. The music inside was really loud so outside was the obvious choice for sarging. After downing a drink, I saw a 3-set sitting by themselves at a table that'll fit at least 6 people and they didn't seem too focused on what they were doing. I took it as a sign that they wanted some company so I opened the set with an extremely direct approach. I walked up to them and said "My friend and I think you girls are cute, mind if we sit with you for a bit?". The girls smiled and we're now in.

We started chatting and I used a couple of routines to generate a couple of early laughs. My friend mostly kept the conversation going. He's so much better at keeping a girl's attention than I am it's not even funny. I guess it's a slight culture difference, where in the big city I'm from, you're trained not to waste other people's time talking about things that're unimportant, especially time of strangers. That mentally doesn't apply to here, because people here seem to love chatting about little things that doesn't make a difference, and that's how people build rapport.

I remember as I was asking them if they had any pets, and one of the girls said she had a dog. My friend continued the conversation with "My mom used have a dog when I was growing up, she used to beg for food while we were eating, made the sad puppy dog face and everything ...". As of this stage in my game, I'm not taking threads and run with it nearly as well as my friend, and that's something I need to learn. My friend's "vibe" got better and better as the night went along, he did some Cocky and Funny stuff and then played with the girls' cameras a bit, taking different pictures of the girls and himself further building rapport.

One of the girls left early and we were chatting with the two left. By the end of the night, I can see the body language of the two girls were both directed to my friend, my thought was "Wow, he's so much better than me at this, I've got a lot to learn from him in that step of the game". About 15-20 minutes before we left, my friend did this "text message speed competition" routine that he made up on the spot to one of the girls that was showing stronger IOI. He took the girl's phone, texted his own phone with it so he had her number, and so on. They played with their phones a little more and we left. He got a solid number close. They even played some text tag in the next 30 minutes after we left.

I know I got a lot to learn from my friend, who sparked attraction and interest, while I was sitting around smiling saying a few sentences here and there. I should be pissed at him for violating the rule "the person that opens the set owns the set", but that doesn't really apply since I sucked too much at the next step after I opened the set.

Things I did well:
  • Opening the set - direct opener, no fear (after a drink), no hesitation.
  • Winged for my friend - filled in some slight awkward silences with pre-prepared "boring" material, such as "do you have any pets", etc.
Things I needed to improve on:
  • Sparking interest and attraction after I opened the set
  • Random threads and stories to "contribute to the conversation".
  • When it was 2 on 2 at the end of the night, I couldn't "divide" the set. We continued group chats and watched my friend and one girl (girl with stronger IOI for my friend) chatting it up, while the other girl and I mostly sat there and listened to them chat. Should've somehow transitioned into 1 on 1 and capture her attention for 10-15 minutes using a routine or two, such as the cube game. It'll give my friend a chance to number close his girl without the awkward text messaging himself routine, and I might've number closed my girl as well.

Thursday, June 19, 2008

Dry Night - Radium69

Ok, so tonight Ambiance and I went to one of our spots to pick up chicks. The female ratio was at an all time low for the place so we made the best of it. I was acting like a cocky, funny joker the whole time talking loud and blatantly looking at chicks going, "Damn! That chick looks good!" During the course of me randomly looking out for chicks I would get "the eyes" where I catch them staring, I guess figuring me out, but they find it hard to break the stare instantaneously so I usually look and smile and they turn away, I usually don't follow up but I am starting to change my thoughts on that.

Ok, so these two chicks come in to meet this one stocky guy. Well, you could tell the girl he was after since he corned her in the booth they were in and was all in her face while she was talking and eating. The other girl, however, I was catching her with the eyes as I was acting like a cocky ass cracking jokes but damn sure having a good time. She looked really young though so I kind of wrote her off even though she was cute. So I ignored her.

We were drunk, we were going to call it a night. As we went to close our tab this chick comes running up to the bar to buy drinks. She pulls up right beside me and I look her way and she says, "Hi!". I said hello, and the proceeded with the TRUTH. "I was admiring you from afar and I have to say you are very beautiful. What's your name? She said "Wah wah wah wah" (That's right I forgot so sue me - even though she literally said it 4 times) and then I asked where she was from and she said from a place about 3 hours away. I said "Damn, are you here for a while? and she said no she was just visiting a friend. She then turned and pointed her head to her friend like Madam the puppet off the old Hollywood squares show - that freaked me out a little. I asked if she will be in town long and she said no, she was heading back tonight. I said "Aw, we could have got to know each other better." She said she would be back occasionally and maybe we would see each other. I still had her hand I said that would be nice. I let her hand go and I proceeded to ask funny jackass questions to Ambiance in a drunken stupor as I wanted to let her know "Oh well, I'll see ya if I see ya". We had some dry one liners like how old are you and what are you getting ready to drink. After that I told her later and we headed out.

All I can say is this is getting easier. The more I ignore chicks the more response I get. I am just out having a good time being loud and obnoxious and it seems they want to be part of it. I'll have to start pulling more numbers and follow up encounters as a goal. Right now I am just having fun. One thing I will say, the girls I targeted at the begining of the night I never talked to. The one I wrote off came after me. My question, was I being observed while I was observing the other chicks and this is how this encounter happened? It is not the first time. I think there is some truth in it... Women are VERY competitive...

Pick-Up Terminology Glossary

Some terms I will use a lot, thought everyone should get familiarize with them. These definitions are generally "standard" definitions in the pickup community, but with my personal spin.

1itis - aka one-itis, the mentality of "she's the only one for me" or "She's like no other because..."

AFC - Average Frustrated Chump. He's the "nice guy" who always gets into the "friend zone" with women. Buys flowers and candies, always gets the response of "you're nice, but...". He might do enough "nice things" for a woman to feel enough "affection" to settle for him so he no doesn't ever have to learn pickup. Suffers from "1itis", operates out of fear of losing the woman due to lack of choices.

AMOG - Alpha Male Other Guy, or Alpha Male Of the Group. Two guys understanding "game" competes for who gets to be the more attractive "alpha male" in front of a woman or multiple women. It generally involves fake compliments and dismissal of the other guys' skills as "trivial". Example: One guy comes with a physically intimidation game in front of a group of women, the 2nd guy AMOGs him by saying "Come on now, we're all friends here, there's no need for childish blue-collard shenanigans".

Body Rock - Showing the body language of "leaving" while speaking, gives the illusion that you're about to leave, but without actually leaving. It's mostly used to disarm sets so they don't feel like they're being "hit on".

C&F - Cocky and Funny. A concept from David DeAngelo to create attraction. He talks about a perfect mix of C and F. Too much cocky and you'll look like a jerk, too much funny and you'll look like an entertainer and neither will help you close.

Close - "Sealing the deal", ending the night with a girl with the desired result. It can be number close (getting her number), kiss close, F-close, etc.

DHV - demonstration of higher value. Shows women that you're a great guy with extremely high value in the sexual economy, could be accomplished with stories, routines, etc.

False Disqualifier - A routine or line to fakely communicate "I'm not into you". It's used to settle the set to avoid her crowd actively cockblocking you, used to disable her "this guy's hitting on me" guard, and also used to build attraction, as people want what they can't easily get. Example: "I'd be totally into you if you had the same hairstyle, but were Asian instead"

HB - Hot Babe. A "HB6" means a hot babe that ranks 6 out of the 10 point scale.

IOD - indicator of disinterest. Subtle things women do (consciously or subconsciously) that shows they're not interested in you.

- indicator of interest. Subtle things women do (consciously or subconsciously) that shows they're interested in you.

Kino - Kinaesthesis, to touch. Small non-sexual touches that escalate from platonic conversations to sexual activities.

KJ - Keyboard Jockey. Someone who always talks about the game and gives advice on the web. Lots of KJ's don't have real "field experience" and their advice shouldn't be taken too seriously. It also refers to people talking about the game in general. Example: "I was KJing with a buddy about ghetto chicks and tactics for them".

LMR - Last Minute Resistance. The "illogical" resistance some women put up right before the "close" (whatever the close is).

Mayoring - This is a word I (ambiance) made up, going into the friend zone. It came from the phrase "being the mayor of the friend zone.

- Multiple longterm relationships. Being in relationships with women, but not exclusively. More than a "fuck buddy" as in there's genuine interest in the other person, caring about each other, wanting to spend time with them outside the bedroom, what I (Ambiance) consider is a major goal of mine in the next few years.

Neg - "busting her balls" or "backhanded compliment". Used to jokingly build comfort and attraction, also used to lower her perceived sexual value to herself so in comparison your own value increases.

PUA - Pick up artist, a guy proficient at picking up women.

Sarging - Going out to pick up women.

Set - one or more girls. "Open the set" means striking up a conversation with a set. "3-set" means a group of 3 girls.

Shit Test - Random tests women throw at you, consciously or subconsciously, to see how you'd handle yourself in specific situations. Example: "Take Off That Silly Ass Hat"

SNL - Same Night Lay. Meeting the girl and "doing the deed" within the same night.

Social Proof - Having others (especially women) with you. It's a subconscious thought in women that if other people (especially attractive women) are with you, then you can't be that bad of a guy therefore raises your social value.

Introduction - Ambiance

This is a blog about the transformation from an average guy (AFC) to a pick up artist (PUA). The setting is a small town, about the size of Milwaukee but half the population. I just moved from a major city about a few months ago, and am noticing a few differences.

The road will be long and the stories will be many. I'm guessing it'll be filled with failures for the first few months, and then more "random" success will occur. I'm hoping after a year or so, successes will be more frequent than failures, and then success will be consistent and expected afterwards. But I'm also guessing as I get better, definitions of "success" will change as well. As of right now, a "solid" number close at the end of a night of going out for pickups (sarging) would be considered my "success". A "solid" number close is engaging the girl enough to spark her interest before (or after) getting her number, that she'll be excited to hear from you again. I currently use the "5 minute number technique" a lot, where I act like I have (more fun and important) places to be and things to do, but I'd like to get her number because she's cute and we can get together later. In the past when I sarged in the big city, if I can start chatting with the girl, I get a number about 80% of the time, but less than 50% of the numbers convert to dates. Here in this small town, girls want "affection" and the attitude that "I'm important" doesn't build much attraction, they want to know that I think "they're important" to me. Needless to say, that technique yields lesser results. As a "numbers game", the conversion percentage is pretty low.

Several people asked me why I want to do it, and my answers so far, to them as well as myself, is "to possess the skills to be able to pick up almost any single woman I want". As of right now, the skill is more important to me than the result. It's a lot more important for me to master the process from the approach all the way to the sex, and maybe what I should do afterwards (such as keeping them around as a multiple longterm relationship vs keeping them around just for sex vs not contacting them again). I'm planning on staying single for the next few years, but when I do get into a committed relationship in my early to mid 30's, I'd like my relationship to be healthy. I'd be operating from love, and not fear. I want to be around that one great woman and treat her well because I'd love her even though I could get with many other women, and I would not be operating out of fear of losing her.

Looking back, my first relationship in high school was not that great because the girl insisted on random drama that I didn't want. I operated out of the fear of losing her so I tolerated it, and I never want that to happen again. My second relationship also didn't end well for other reasons and I had a huge sense of "1itis" afterwards, the thought that she's the only woman for me and I was somewhat desperate to get her back, which I failed miserably. I've been on many dates since then (some were a lot more "successful" than others, but it seemed random), but I always have labeled myself as "not the relationship type" due to my past failures and I have been staying single since. I'd like to be in a relationship someday, but I have a lot to accomplish before that, such as figuring out where I'd be living permanently, and get much better at dealing with women. Wish me luck.

I got into the art of pickup by first stumbling upon David DeAngelo's "Advanced Series" on a 6 hour drive. I was browsing around the web and thought I'd want something lengthy to listen to, I had no idea what it was gonna be. This program Wow'ed me. I'm not extremely perceptive, and this program talked about things I've never even thought of before, erasing my mind of "ideals" and false beliefs and filling my mind with realistic subjects such as "sexual economy" and "attraction isn't a choice". David D mostly talks about being the man that naturally attract women, and some great basics (or maybe they're something not basic, something too advanced for me to understand at the time), but he didn't talk too much on specific techniques. He talked about "Act like this and women will naturally come to you", I did, and still no women swarming towards me. It made me do more research, learning techniques on approach, comfort building, from works of Mystery and Style to random Keyboard Jockeys (KJ's, defined in next post) in forums. I got into the community, and as of now, I'm willing to dedicate about 2-3 nights a week getting better at the art of pickup.

I've decided that my pickup name is now "Ambiance". My game as of now is composed of tricks, gimmicks, routines, and techniques - easily learned and produce a temporary illusion of emotions women enjoy. Fake smokes and cheap mirrors, I am now Ambiance. I've found a couple of other guys who're better than me at pickups, and I'm going to learn the first stage of pick-up from them - to be better at conversation, have a better "vibe" that'll naturally be attractive to women after the approach. After I get comfortable and better doing that, I can learn more advanced tactics such as moving and merging sets (groups of women), etc.

I'm inviting all my pickup partners to be authors of this blog - it would be interesting to see "field reports" of the same story, but from different perspectives. This is the beginning of my new hobby, let the ride begin.